Adding Trust

Sitting here feeling completely frustrated right now. 

I was supposed to be boarding my flight at EWR headed to Las Vegas. We booked in August, giving ourselves an extra two days before the craziness of work began to take a roadtrip to the Grand Canyon. I've never been. Since I started my current job 2 1/2 years ago, I've been to Las Vegas 3 times (this will be #4) and everytime I think, "I would love to see the Grand Canyon."

This trip we were making that wish come true... but Mother Nature had other plans. 

Over the last few days it has been bitterly cold on the East Coast and across the U.S., and when talks of snow began it was improbable, and only 1-3 inches, and it wasn't starting until 8AM, and on and on and on. 

And then last evening my 8:10AM flight was cancelled. 

Preparing for this work trip, I dropped my car off at my dad's shop after work. My 2013 Fiat500C which I lovingly call Fifi hit 100K miles just yesterday (she gets around) and is in need of some TLC. Brake light is out, needs new brakes, oil change, maintenance. This was the perfect time for her to be at the shop and so Brian met me there after work, we dropped her off and we headed home. 

We're in the car about a half hour from home and I get a text from my friend that the flight is cancelled. I was so confused for a second because... it was like 6:30PM and the flight wasn't for another 14 hours. How could it already be cancelled? The snow is here now and I know it is better that I didn't get to the airport just to be stuck there all day. But, I'm still allowed to think this sucks.

Our backyard as of 8:00AM 1/4/18

It is a CRAZY time for flights to Las Vegas right now simply because of the huge tradeshow that is happening out there, which is why we are heading out there, so flights are sparse. That is why we booked in August. That is why the next flight we could get wasn't until Saturday. 

Today is Thursday. No flight until Saturday. No trip to the Grand Canyon. 

Am I upset? To put it lightly, yes. I am dramatic my nature so there may or may not have been a ton of tears shed. You know when you go through those seasons of life where you honestly believe nothing is working in your favor and no matter what you do, nothing seems to be working out for you the way you imagine it to? That is the season I'm walking through right now. And this was the icing on the cake for this week, this day, this season. 

So after many, many tears and being comforted by Brian who promised we'll get out there this year because he knows how much I was looking forward to it and have been anticipating seeing the beauty that is the Grand Canyon, I've put things into perspective and I'm working to get my dramatic side a bit pulled back in. 

And after thinking about it more and more I want to add an additional "Word" to my year for 2018: Trust. 

Trust that, for whatever reason, I was not meant to be on that plane heading to this trip. Trust that instead, I should be home (as I have no car and can't get to work anyway, even if I wanted to) resting to get over this sinus infection/cold before this long and exhausting business trip. Spending time resting and being with my family before the crazy month of travel begins. 

If nothing else, putting it in that perspective makes me feel a little better about missing out on the trip... but I'll get there eventually. 

Moving forward, I need to TRUST in things that happen that are beyond my control. It is fine to get upset when things suck or something goes wrong or my plans don't turn out like I planned - I'm allowed to feel those feelings. What I need to remember after I'm done feeling those feelings is that there is nothing I can do about it and focusing on the negative isn't going to make things better. I need to accept what is and trust that is how it was meant to be. 

So long story short... 

no Grand Canyon. 

Leaving for Vegas on Saturday. 

In 2018 I'm going to trust in the way things pan out.